Less Than Zero

The summer after my father passed, my mom and I made a visit to his childhood friend in the village, Yannis Gekas and his wife Aristea. During that visit, he said something that turned my whole world upside down. He said, “your father and I started from nothing.” This was nothing new; but, then he corrected himself and said, “Actually, we started from less than zero” (κάτω από το μηδέν). I knew my father grew up poor and my mom was raised in an orphanage, but none of my calculations ever added up to less than zero.

It’s been my experience in life that when most people talk about being poor or living in poverty, it’s mostly hyperbole. What he said to me that day was the ugly truth. There was no bravado in his tone or anything that would lead me to question what he just said. Until then, it never occurred to me that less than zero was even possible.

Minus One

A few weeks back I asked my brother Niko if he heard from Yannis and he said it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with new projects at work that require my full attention so I haven’t had the time to give him a call. Finally, I called and found him in the hospital. He said he’s going to join my dad. I told him to get well and go home and celebrate Easter with his family because my dad is not accepting visitors at this time and I’m looking forward to seeing you in July. I spoke with his daughter Georgia a few days before his passing and the best case scenario was to get him home and see how it goes. And just like that, he’s gone.

Getting to Zero

When you don’t have anything, you have nothing to lose. The only way for Yannis and my dad to break the cycle of poverty was to put blind faith in a future where the odds are stacked against them. Diamonds are created deep in the earth under immense pressure and heat, where carbon atoms are forced into a shiny crystal. A star is born from nebulae, where gravity causes these to collapse and fragment. Getting from less than zero would require them to be subjected to the same extreme pressure and conditions required to make a diamond or for a star to be born. With hard work, a little luck, the support of strong women, and not looking down when they climbed the ladder, they made it to zero.

The Void

The silence that came after losing my father was deafening. The phone stopped ringing and I found myself feeling all alone. My mom calls all the time, but it’s not the same as talking to my dad. I spend most of the call with her being a good listener and saying anything to make her day a bit better than the last. It’s not really much of a conversation. Filling this void after my dad passed was Yannis. He would call to see what I was up to. There was no rhyme or reason for the call or timing of the call. He would ask me what I’m up to and ask how things are going. He would always ask about my niece Sofia, whom he watch grow up in the village from a baby every summer. He would ask about my wife and I would jokingly say she’s still alive and I think I should divorce her soon before it gets too expensive to do so. What you find out after losing a parent is that you lose the only person in this world that only wants you to succeed and be happy. I can’t thank him enough for brightening more than a few days with a call.

Looking Forward

Most people spend too much time being worried about their own mediocrity. The reality of our humanity is that we’re all just average at a lot of things. The truth is that you’re not that good so stop holding yourself back from enjoying the things you love because you’re not a prodigy at everything. Let your voice be shaky. Cry big ugly tears. Life is too short to be scared to be human. I learned this from two men that started from Less Than Zero. They were not blessed with any exceptional talent or intellect. They made themselves into the people they wanted to become. Life is not fair. My dad was cursed with four sons and Yannis was cursed with three daughters. This was the price they paid for being ambitious.

The irony is not lost on me that the majority of people that I personally know that really are “less than zero” never started from there. They started from much higher with all the privileges and advantages most people can only dream of. The part of the story of these two remarkable men that is most interesting to me is how they were able get their children to love a village that caused them so much grief. I’m surprised they didn’t run away from that place and never look back. They were able to successfully remove all the negative stigma associated with poverty and being poor. They proved that living in poverty and being poor is more a state of mind than a reality. I’m currently writing this post from the Aegean Lounge at Athens International Airport finishing with this final thought before I fly on to Ioannina. When I arrive in the village later this evening, I need to take a call with Hawaii half way around the world. I have a hard time processing this reality. Honestly, there’s no place I would rather be at this point in my life and I have more than two people who started from less than zero to thank for this privilege.