Stock Market Blues

I’ve got the stock market blues! The worst part of watching my investment accounts take a beating since Trump took office is not having my tried and true coping mechanism here in Barcelona. The only cure I know for dramatic drops in the market is perusing the shelves of any gas station across America. The gas stations in Barcelona are a a joke and don’t get me started on their supermarkets. The gas station is a cultural institution in America that are equal parts sugar and salt. These are cherished institutions where hot dogs can live for days spinning on those hot rollers. It’s where coffee starts to become a questionable purchase after 10 am.

Sunday Drive

Last Sunday, we drove an hour north of Barcelona to meet friends for lunch at a cool restaurant near Vic. The gas tank needle was between 1/4 to 1/2 full; but, still leaning more towards 1/2. In Wisconsin, this would warrant an immediate detour to the nearest KwikTrip. Even a U-turn if necessary. While filling up the tank, an internal conversation starts the moment I open the KwikTrip app. I’m strategizing my next steps once I get inside the store. It’s like I created a vision board in my mind with donuts, hot sandwiches, taquitos, and salty snacks. I have not found one gas station in all of Europe that comes remotely close to address the salty and sugary needs of a man that is experiencing a six figure reduction in his portfolio value. You will not receive the same comforting and nurturing feeling that only an American gas station can provide. I don’t even waste my time looking for it anymore. The only time you actually go inside a gas station here is to use the bathroom (always a questionable move) or to pay with a credit card. Your spirit is just crushed if you gaze at the sad selection of available snacks – even for a mili-second.

American Gas Stations

You can tell a lot about where you are in America just by stopping at a gas station off the interstate. Do the local folk watch black people filling up their tanks like a hawk because they don’t require their customers to prepay for gas like they do in the inner city? If so, you’re deep in Trump Country. These places give me the same feeling as when I crossed over from Ireland to Northern Ireland. You immediately realize you won’t find the Alabama leprechaun in this part of America. Did you stop at a truck stop off I-95 in New Jersey to be approached by a lady asking you for a ride. Just so you know, that ride is to the dark corner of the parking lot for a quick rendezvous. You may feel inclined to give her a few bucks to get something to eat at Roy Rogers, but I’m leaning towards her using those funds to buy some crack or meth.

Bon Appetite

Gas stations in America are also culinary centers of the highest order. When I would drive from DC to NYC, I would stop at the Royal Farms in Delaware for Fried Chicken. On the return drive to DC, I would only stop at a Wawa to create my sandwich masterpiece at the kiosk and anxiously wait for my number to be called. In Wisconsin, it’s always a stop at Kwik Trip. If I’m driving from Minneapolis to Milwaukee, I stop at the Kwik Trip in Osseo because they have an excellent fish fry on Friday. At Johnson Creek, you will find the Pine Cone Travel Plaza with the most ridiculous bakery you have ever seen. They have these gigantic chocolate eclairs, a decadent brownie selection, and a birthday cake batter cookie that is one gram of sugar short of putting me in a diabetic comma. The Pine Cone Travel Plaza is the only gas station that supersedes KwikTrip when I’m in the area.

The Michelin Guide

When you think about fine dining establishments, the Michelin Guide comes to mind and its coveted Michelin Star. Even one Michelin Star is a tremendous accomplishment. As of 2024, there are only 146 Michelin 3-star restaurants globally. Europe leads with 86, followed by Asia with 50, and the United States with only 10. Many people do not know of its humble origins. Back in 1889, André and Édouard Michelin founded their eponymous tire company in France. To encourage travel and thus tire sales, they created a free guide with travel information. The brothers began selling them in 1920. They then added hotel and restaurant listings, hired anonymous inspectors, and introduced the star rating system for restaurants, solidifying the Michelin Guide’s reputation and global success. As you can see, automobile travel and gas stations played an integral part in the creation of the world’s foremost authority on haute cuisine. I feel more at home at KwikTrip over 11 Madison Park (which is the only 3 Michelin starred vegan restaurant).

The Stock Market

The stock market has taken a beating and most investors don’t know what to do. The best advice I can give anyone is don’t panic and don’t sell. Let’s use eggs as an example. Today, eggs may cost $8/dozen. If those eggs dropped to $4/dozen overnight, would you sell those eggs? Probably not?! Does anyone buy even more eggs because they’re now 50% cheaper? Again, probably not. They just buy another dozen at $4 and another dozen when they cost $2 and another dozen at $5. The idea behind long term investing is that climb from $1 to $1 million is not linear. It’s a random walk that has its highs and lows. The Oracle of Omaha Warren Buffet says it best, “If You’re Gonna Do Dumb Things Because Your Stock Goes Down, You Shouldn’t Own The Stock At All.” Consistently investing for the long term in a low cost index fund like VOO or VTI gets you there just as fast as navigating the peaks and valleys of individual equities. I own a few stocks that are such a small percentage of my total portfolio that even a 90% decrease in stock value does negligible damage to my net worth.

The Gas Can Scam

When some stranger approaches you at the gas station with an empty gas can in one hand and a sob story asking you for some money, what do you do? Do you give them money or do you offer to fill up the gas can? It’s funny how they never want you to actually fill the empty gas can. This is a serious conundrum as it relates to the stock market and your role as an investor. Whatever you choose to do to address the other person’s empty gas can only has a negative effect on you. As you come to realize, the gas can is just a prop and the stock market is exactly the same person as the gas can scammer. If you sell your stock, it’s exactly the same as giving money to the gas can scammer. They (the stock market) never wants you to fill their gas can, because if you do the price of gas will not fall (supply/demand). The stock market is the same as an empty gas can in that it’s never full and all the money in the world cannot fill that gas can. In the end, they only want your money. The empty gas can is just a diversion to what is really going on. This is not rocket science. Don’t sell your investments. Period!

Still Salty and Sweet

I get the stock market blues in Barcelona only and only because there’s no KwikTrip here. I already know what I would get at KwikTrip after this recent drop. The snack will need to be a 50/50 ratio of salty to sweet to bring everything back into equilibrium and a tall boy PBR “roadie” to wash down any lingering pain. KwikTrip actually sells a breakfast sandwich that is equal parts salty and sweet. It’s a waffle breakfast sandwich made with a fried egg, a sausage patty, American cheese (fuck yeah!) sandwiched between two maple syrup spiked mini waffles. This is the only combination that I know that cures the stock market blues. A fancy croissant or a nice bocata (sandwich) with Jamon Iberico in Barcelona does nothing to address my stock market blues. The only thing that comes close to helping is an ensaimada from Mistral, because this pastry is made from lard and it’s nothing short of delicious; but, it isn’t a perfect substitute to the massive coronary producing waffle breakfast sandwich at KwikTrip.