The news I see from America these days is stranger than fiction. Living in Barcelona, I realize that people will lean to me for my “American” take on current events in the good ‘ole U, S, of A. It’s flattering that people see me as some sort of oracle ready to drop knowledge by virtue of simply being from America. Unfortunately, I don’t possess the virtues of “American Exceptionalism” touted by Ronald Reagan or the “Hope and Change” of Obama.
Pretty Woman
Pretty much everyone has seen Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts. The story hits all the high notes of a great American underdog story. A prostitute meets her John, a handsome and wealthy man played by Richard Gere who falls in love with her and saves her from selling her body up and down the dirty Hollywood Boulevard. The movie follows the same basic script of all the other great American underdog stories. Think Hoosiers (rip Gene Hackman), Rudy, Rocky, Red Dawn, etc. The only people who protested Pretty Women were actual sex workers that took issue with the movie glamorizing prostitution; but, that is a just a footnote to such a powerful and inspirational underdog story.
During these trying times, the irony is not lost on me that Anora won the Oscar for Best Picture and Mikey Madison won the Oscar for best actress. This is the anti-Pretty Woman movie Americans really should see during these troubling times. Anora is about a prostitute that falls for a Russian oligarch’s son and elopes with him in Vegas. His Russian parents come to America to make him get a divorce and take him back to mother Russia after leaving the American girl with a measly $10k for her troubles. To be fair, he did pay her $15K for a week of her companionship. I think you can draw parallels between Trump and Putin and why it is stranger than fiction. Americans are looking for Trump to deliver the storybook ending of Pretty Woman; but, we’re clearly going to be left holding the bag like Anora. In this analogy, we Americans are the prostitute. No pun intended, but this will leave a nasty taste in our mouths.
Pressing Issues
In his month since being sworn in as president, Donald Trump has prioritized the most pressing issues facing America. The list of pressing issues below is not exhaustive; but, it’s pretty impressive nonetheless:
- Removal of Pronouns from email signatures
- Renaming of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America
- Proposed the US takeover of Gaza
- Sent a plane of deportees to Guantanamo
- Banned transgender competitors from Women’s sports
- Announced a task force to tackle anti-Christian bias
- Intervened in a dispute in the golf world
- Takeover of the Kennedy Center
- Removed climate change mentions from government websites
- Increased access for Musk’s Doge
- Revoked Joe Biden’s security clearance
This all came to a head last Friday when Zelensky came to the White House and walked right into a buzzsaw. The whole thing was a made for TV spectacle. Without diving too deep into this, a large body of Americans thought, “This is how shit gets done! ‘Merica! Fuck Yeah!”. They actually approved of this childish behavior and believe Zelensky was the aggressor and all sorts of other nonsense around why he didn’t wear a suit to the oval office. The same people are blind to Elon Musk dressing like a douche everyday he’s in the oval office. This for me is also stranger than fiction. Based on the vitriol I’ve seen spewed against Zelensky on social media, Americans over the age of fifty are all acting like they’ve never seen Red Dawn.
The Underdog
As mentioned earlier, Americans love an underdog story and I’m here to tell you that one is currently being being played out across America. Americans are flocking to see Bernie Sanders on his National Tour to Fight Oligarchy in Republican lead Congressional districts. You can’t make this shit up and Hollywood could never write a script this good because this is also stranger than fiction. Almost all people in those Republican held districts do not align themselves with Bernie’s political views. However, they’re not so dumb to believe that Billionaires have their best interests at heart. Republicans in Iowa are caught between Trump and the farmers pleading for their frozen funds that keep the family farm afloat. This is quite the pickle to be in. If you upset Trump, you’ll fight for your seat in the next primary. If you ignore your constituents, you may face recall. If I was them, I would fight like hell for my constituents and face the music later. It’ll be the first crack in the dam.
Building on the momentum of Bernie Sanders, MAGA folk is showing up in numbers to give their representatives an earful at Town Hall meetings across the land. Senator Roger Marshall left his town hall early in Oakley, Kansas after a larger-than-expected crowd pressed him about DOGE cuts including jobs held by veterans. Before leaving he told them that “God Had A Plan!” without elaborating more. Private, unidentified security personnel dragged a woman out of an event in Idaho raising questions not just about tolerance for dissent but about who gets deputized to do what. Apparently, your elected officials can now hire thugs to shut their constituents up. Democrats are also facing the music at their town halls as well and every politician is a potential target. The American populace is remembering that they possess the power of change if they so choose to wield it; no matter what any politician says or thinks.
There is a renewed hope for America with each and every protest. Every person that stands up to these spineless turds is an American who sees themselves as a Rocky, a Rudy, and maybe even a prostitute who likes to get down and dirty like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Americans have studied the underdog all their lives and are starting to see the underdog as themselves. The underdog ethos is ingrained in the DNA of every American since Rocky knocked out Captain Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. Unfortunately, this all had to happen only after a royal ass whooping from Ivan ended Apollo Creed’s life. Nothing is free in this life; especially, freedom. Even Apollo Creed’s son Adonis had to beat Drago’s son Igor in Creed 2, because we got lazy and complacent as a nation. History is bound to repeat itself if we don’t learn anything from it. As long as there are underdogs, there is hope for America and we can pick ourselves up in America like Rocky or get up off our knees like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
It only takes a few heroic Americans to turn the tides against these billionaire dickheads trying to tell us WTF is up. None of this going to happen if Americans continue to fight each other, instead of Trump and those fucking Russians. Anytime you feel the necessity to engage someone on social media with your shameless defense of a billionaire, just remember that motherfucker doesn’t give a fuck about you. It’s no secret, they are in power to make sure some Russian asshole gets to kick your dick and all your friends’ dicks into the dirt while they make themselves even richer at your expense. After all that we’ve been through in American History, tell me how this is not stranger than fiction.